What friendship can do for peace

By Abdulrazaq O Hamzat



Friendship has capacity to inspire peace against all anti-peace forces, no matter how long and bitter the war has been fought. This is what we have learned from Abiy Ahmed (41), the new Prime Minister of Ethiopia in his quest to end his country’s 20 years war with neighboring Eritrea.
The youngest leader in Africa chose friendship, not enmity and rather than waste so much time and resources setting up peace commission to discuss possible ways of achieving peace between both countries, the Ethiopian Prime Minister created friendship with his country’s long time enemy and within weeks, their friendship metamorphosed into peace, a deal both leaders say was based on forgiving each other for past offensess’’. This is what friendship can do for peace.

When I heard that 33 export larger beer is hosting an essay competition, whose theme is circled around friendship this July, i know those behind this idea are up to something unique. The idea of an essay competition, in this season of friendship is truly unique and powerful and it has the capacity to unite people of all races, all tribes and across all religions.

33 export larger beer friendship essay competition is really unique because the United Nations had fixed the International Day of Friendship to be every 30th day of July. This means that few days after closing the 33 export larger beer essay competition about friendship, we shall be celebrating the international friendship day. Isn’t this amazing?

Friendship is the best thing in life. Like 33 export larger beer, it could bring pleasure and sweetness and even turn total strangers to family members. Example of this is what we have seen between Ethiopia and Eritrea, in which the Eritrea President, Isaias Afwerki who has over the past two decades acquired a reputation for being the number one enemy of anything Ethiopia appeared out of character, praising the leader of his long-time foe excessively, and proclaiming that the two nation’s populations are “one people”.

Although, according Julie Beck, in the hierarchy of relationships, friendship is at the bottom. Romantic partners, parents, children—all these come first. However, friendship is a unique relationship because unlike family relationships, we choose to enter into them, with whomever we chose, without any formal structure.

While announcing this year’s international friendship day, the United Nations stated that our world faces many challenges, crises and forces of division such as poverty, violence, and human rights abuses among many others that undermine peace, security, development and social harmony.

To confront those crises and challenges, their root causes must be addressed by promoting and defending a shared spirit of human solidarity that takes many forms, the simplest of which is friendship. Through friendship and by accumulating bonds of camaraderie and developing strong ties of trust, we can contribute to the fundamental shifts that are urgently needed to achieve lasting stability, weave a safety net that will protect us all, and generate passion for a better world where all are united for the greater good.

How does friendship help us achieve all the above? The scientific literature offers plenty of insight into what friends can do for us. They can give us confidence and bolster our sense of self, especially during tough times. They can increase our sense of purpose and belonging. And they significantly influence some of our most important behaviors, whether positively or negatively. This is why we are often advised to keep good company. Show me your friend and I will tell you who you are is a population saying in Nigeria that emphasizes the need for keeping good company.

In a book written by Aristotole almost 2,000 years ago in the ancient Greek Empire titled Nichomachean Ethics, Aristotle writes that there are three different kinds of friendship:

1) Friendships based on utility, in which one or both of the parties gain something as a result of the friendship (think: much of the modern “networking” enterprise, or becoming friends with someone because you think they can help you).
2) Friendships based on pleasure, or those centered around pleasant experiences (think: people with whom you can have a good, carefree time).
3) Friendships based on virtue, in which both individuals share the same values (think: people whom you admire and respect, and with whom you align on what you find most important in life).

But according to Brad Stulberg, while all three of Aristotle’s friendships can be advantageous, only those founded in virtue and with common core values  are enduring and meaningful: “Perfect friendship is the friendship of [those] who are alike in virtue,” he wrote. “For these [individuals] wish well to each other [in all circumstances] and thus [these friendships] are good in themselves.”

Additionally, in the science of friendship tagged friendology by Suzanne Degges, we are told that models of friendship show that there are two main categories of factors that influence our choice and pursuit of potential friends: individual factors and environmental factors. Individual factors include such influences as approachability, social skills, self-disclosure, similarity, and closeness. Environmental factors include influences such as proximity, geography, activities, and life events.

Finally, it is therefore important to understand that, creating friendship based on good virtue is the best form of friendship and to resolve any problem with your enemy, just make them your friend.

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