FEMI KUTI’S PATERNITY CONTROVERSY: IN DEFENSE OF FEMI
FEMI KUTI’S PATERNITY CONTROVERSY: IN DEFENSE OF FEMI
We all read the story about Femi Kuti returning two of his former children whom a DNA test revealed were not his. According to information available in public domain, he discovered they were not his children in 2004, but only talked about it in 2014 after he had returned the children to their biological father. Also, his former wife who gave birth to those children is no longer with him, I guess there reason for separation shouldn’t be unconnected to unfaithfulness, which warrant the DNA test in the first place. And true to his suspicion, the test blow the cover that indeed, two out of his five children were not his children.
However, since the news broke out, many have express their view on his reaction to the issue. Most recently, Victoria Ibezim-Ohaeri (VIO) in her recent post frown at him for returning children that have grown up to know, love and call him daddy. In her view, he shouldn’t have returned those children because what it takes to be a father is not just giving birth to children, but taking care of them and since he did took care of them from birth, he his the father they knew. Few others also supported that view, but I think there is a major fault in such reasoning. If we should go by that logic, we are simply saying, keep another man’s children without their fathers consent despite knowing they are not yours. Even when their mother would not be there since she had separated with her ex husband,are we saying he should continue to keep children whose father and mother are known, hale, healthy and ready to take care of their own children? Honestly, there are many things wrong with such logic.
Femi like every one else is a human being who has emotions and feelings. He his no robot that is capable of acting outside human capabilities. I said this because, doing contrary to what Femi did would have been strange to humanity, really, I have never seen any human who could do otherwise. He was hurt, boiling emotionally after realizing children whom he hold dear as his, turned out to be someone else’s children. He despise their mother for deceiving him all this years, but even despise himself more for being deceived this long. Seeing those children everyday reminds him of their mothers deceit, his hatred for her would grow and such aggression might even be transferred to the children someday. He his a human after all. Its easy to talk and make commentary when we are not the victim, but trust me, only the one wearing the shoe knows where it hurts.
If you have watched a Philippians movie titled Mara & Clara, similar situation was captured. Children were exchanged in birth, but when it was revealed after 15 years, both fathers wanted their original child. Though they loved the former child, but each child has to be with their rightful parents, though, they may remain parents to them and friends to the family. On Femi’s case, before couples who had several children for each other decides to separate, certainly, it must have been after several irreconcilable disagreements. Since they agree to separate peacefully, we must ask, what warrant a DNA test? Without any doubt, it must not be unconnected to their reason for separation. Probably, Femi believe she wasn’t faithful and in fact, he may have reasons to believe some of those children are not his from the word go. He wanted to confirm and he did. After the cover was blown, what should he have done? Keep the children? NO. That can’t be done, it is not right, it can’t be justified under whatever condition. Even if he wanted to keep them, would the mother accept such considering the fact that she is no longer with the man to watch over them? Lets assume the mother accepted, do you think the original father won’t have heard about it? If he did, would he have allow his children continue to stay with another man? What sort of father would that be?
In Yoruba tradition, Femi couldn’t have kept those children. They are called Omo- Ale (bastard). A yoruba proverb says, Ti ile eni ban toro, omo ale be ni ko ti dagba, meaning that, if a house is peaceful, the bastard child in it hasn’t grown. As traditional as Femi his, am sure he took that proverb seriously and did what he had to do. That doesn’t mean he would start treating the children bad, No. It also doesn’t mean the children can’t continue to call him dad, nor would he prevent them from coming to the house anytime they feel like, but they have to go to their biological father, its better for them for their future’s sake. If Femi had kept it to himself, that would amount to greater deception, because sooner or later, it would be revealed.
Let us not be too emotional in public discuss. Yes, Femi himself might have been a bastard to his late dad, but there was no any DNA that proves that. And what gives us the impression that, if Fela had done DNA which reveal Femi not to be his biological child, he wouldn’t have done the same by returning him? Yes, Femi his still a father to those children, but he mustn’t continue to keep them against the wishes of their original parents.
Here, I didn’t say weather or not, the woman was right or wrong. I know for sure that many are culprits of the same thing she did, including her husband Femi. I am certain that hardly can Femi or many other men come out to swear that they never had extra marital affairs. She (Femi’s ex-wife) may just be the one whose conduct was blown by the DNA, but we cant say for sure that if other men also conduct DNA on their children, Femi won’t also be a father to someone else’s children.
Irrespective of who did what, but one things is constant, the woman was wrong and she should be condemned for committing such a grave offense. If she wasn’t unfaithful, none of this would have happened. Both Bible and Qur'an strongly condemned adultery and fornication, irrespective of her religion, she bridged the moral sanctity of her marriage. Many did, some are doing, but they are all wrong and must be condemned. Mr.Rights.
We all read the story about Femi Kuti returning two of his former children whom a DNA test revealed were not his. According to information available in public domain, he discovered they were not his children in 2004, but only talked about it in 2014 after he had returned the children to their biological father. Also, his former wife who gave birth to those children is no longer with him, I guess there reason for separation shouldn’t be unconnected to unfaithfulness, which warrant the DNA test in the first place. And true to his suspicion, the test blow the cover that indeed, two out of his five children were not his children.
However, since the news broke out, many have express their view on his reaction to the issue. Most recently, Victoria Ibezim-Ohaeri (VIO) in her recent post frown at him for returning children that have grown up to know, love and call him daddy. In her view, he shouldn’t have returned those children because what it takes to be a father is not just giving birth to children, but taking care of them and since he did took care of them from birth, he his the father they knew. Few others also supported that view, but I think there is a major fault in such reasoning. If we should go by that logic, we are simply saying, keep another man’s children without their fathers consent despite knowing they are not yours. Even when their mother would not be there since she had separated with her ex husband,are we saying he should continue to keep children whose father and mother are known, hale, healthy and ready to take care of their own children? Honestly, there are many things wrong with such logic.
Femi like every one else is a human being who has emotions and feelings. He his no robot that is capable of acting outside human capabilities. I said this because, doing contrary to what Femi did would have been strange to humanity, really, I have never seen any human who could do otherwise. He was hurt, boiling emotionally after realizing children whom he hold dear as his, turned out to be someone else’s children. He despise their mother for deceiving him all this years, but even despise himself more for being deceived this long. Seeing those children everyday reminds him of their mothers deceit, his hatred for her would grow and such aggression might even be transferred to the children someday. He his a human after all. Its easy to talk and make commentary when we are not the victim, but trust me, only the one wearing the shoe knows where it hurts.
If you have watched a Philippians movie titled Mara & Clara, similar situation was captured. Children were exchanged in birth, but when it was revealed after 15 years, both fathers wanted their original child. Though they loved the former child, but each child has to be with their rightful parents, though, they may remain parents to them and friends to the family. On Femi’s case, before couples who had several children for each other decides to separate, certainly, it must have been after several irreconcilable disagreements. Since they agree to separate peacefully, we must ask, what warrant a DNA test? Without any doubt, it must not be unconnected to their reason for separation. Probably, Femi believe she wasn’t faithful and in fact, he may have reasons to believe some of those children are not his from the word go. He wanted to confirm and he did. After the cover was blown, what should he have done? Keep the children? NO. That can’t be done, it is not right, it can’t be justified under whatever condition. Even if he wanted to keep them, would the mother accept such considering the fact that she is no longer with the man to watch over them? Lets assume the mother accepted, do you think the original father won’t have heard about it? If he did, would he have allow his children continue to stay with another man? What sort of father would that be?
In Yoruba tradition, Femi couldn’t have kept those children. They are called Omo- Ale (bastard). A yoruba proverb says, Ti ile eni ban toro, omo ale be ni ko ti dagba, meaning that, if a house is peaceful, the bastard child in it hasn’t grown. As traditional as Femi his, am sure he took that proverb seriously and did what he had to do. That doesn’t mean he would start treating the children bad, No. It also doesn’t mean the children can’t continue to call him dad, nor would he prevent them from coming to the house anytime they feel like, but they have to go to their biological father, its better for them for their future’s sake. If Femi had kept it to himself, that would amount to greater deception, because sooner or later, it would be revealed.
Let us not be too emotional in public discuss. Yes, Femi himself might have been a bastard to his late dad, but there was no any DNA that proves that. And what gives us the impression that, if Fela had done DNA which reveal Femi not to be his biological child, he wouldn’t have done the same by returning him? Yes, Femi his still a father to those children, but he mustn’t continue to keep them against the wishes of their original parents.
Here, I didn’t say weather or not, the woman was right or wrong. I know for sure that many are culprits of the same thing she did, including her husband Femi. I am certain that hardly can Femi or many other men come out to swear that they never had extra marital affairs. She (Femi’s ex-wife) may just be the one whose conduct was blown by the DNA, but we cant say for sure that if other men also conduct DNA on their children, Femi won’t also be a father to someone else’s children.
Irrespective of who did what, but one things is constant, the woman was wrong and she should be condemned for committing such a grave offense. If she wasn’t unfaithful, none of this would have happened. Both Bible and Qur'an strongly condemned adultery and fornication, irrespective of her religion, she bridged the moral sanctity of her marriage. Many did, some are doing, but they are all wrong and must be condemned. Mr.Rights.
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