Secret of the heart By Abdulrazaq O Hamzat

-


The heart is said to be called Qalb in Arabic language because it changes so quickly and frequently. Qalb (heart) is derived from the word Taqallub, which means alteration, variation, ups and downs.

By this, it can be understood that heart desires are not always static. Actually, it can never be static. The heart can love today and hate tomorrow. It can be happy now and sad the next moment. It may be optimistic some days and dejected in others. That is the nature of the heart. It keeps varying.

However, the heart is not foolish; it doesn’t just alternate or go up and down for no reason. Something has to trigger it to act the way it does. It could be something seen, heard, felt or thought.

The heart doesn’t just love; something must propel it to love. It also doesn’t just hate, something has to instigate it to hate. To keep a lovely relationship lovely, you must keep supplying the heart with the lovely content that makes it feel lovely.
Anything to the contrary will equally produce a contrary outcome. The love heart feels today, no matter how strong, will vanish, should it be starved of those content that keeps it alive.

The heart is like a plant, you must water it. Love is a product from that plant. The heart is like the stomach. It might have been fed yesterday, but any attempt to deprive it of food content today will result into revolt. Yesterday’s food cannot quench today’s hunger and yesterday’s water cannot satisfy today’s tastiness.

Here is the secret of the heart. Something said or not said could make the heart love and hate within seconds. Something seen or not seen could make the heart sad or happy. The heart could love today with so much passion, it could hate tomorrow with so much determination. When the heart loves, it could do and undo for the sake of love. When it hates, it could also go extra miles to injure. That is the ways of the heart.

‘’I will take you as my husband/wife, for richer and for poorer, for better and for worse’’, that’s a common vow for intending couples at their wedding ceremonies. However, evidences have shown that, not many couples, who made such vow, stick to it when it mattered most. The rate of divorce says a lot in this regard.

Available statistics shows that, about 50 percent of married couples in the United States divorce. The divorce rate for subsequent marriages is even higher. Equally in the UK, an estimated 42 per cent of marriages end in divorce.

However, the story is slightly different in Africa. According to data released by Statistics SA, a South African agency in charge of data analysis, South Africa's divorce rate is currently at its highest, stating that the divorce rate has increased by five percent since 2012, and while the number of marriages have decreased. For Nigeria, official statistics suggest that divorce is exceedingly uncommon in Nigeria. According to National Bureau of Statistics, just about 0.2% of men and 0.3% of women have legally untied the knot. And well under 1% of couples admit to being separated.

However, a civil right advocates Emeka Ngwounye had stated that, 90% of married women in Nigeria will go for divorce if the laws are right. He explained that, through his work on family law, he has come to realize that 90% of married women will divorce their husbands if the circumstances are right, adding that in 90% of cases, the top reason why women will divorce is because of domestic violence, economic oppression and infidelity.

The lawyer explained further that, if divorce will not have economic hardship on women, if she will keep custody of her children and if she does not bear significantly worse social stigma than the man for being divorced, 90% of women will prefer divorce.

Beyond the legally married couples; there are several others who truly love each other at some point during their relationships, to an extent that they think they can’t live without each other. Only to realize few months later, that those two love birds have transformed into opponents and attempting to injure or murder each other for the most silly reasons. All the sweet things said to each other are no more.

Prophet Muhammed (peace be upon him) said in a hadith that: “The heart [Qalb] takes its name from its constant changes [Taqallub]. The likeness of the heart is that of a feather at the root of a tree, being turned over and over by the wind.”
The prophet went further to say that, “The heart of the son of Adam changes more quickly than a pan of rapidly boiling water’’, adding that, “It changes more than a pot of rapidly boiling water.”

It is therefore important for all men and women to invest time to understand their partner and their relationship. They need to know what attracted their partner to them in the first instance and what has kept him or her in the union. Understanding all these would go along way in helping them maintain those traits that serve as the foundation of their relationships. It would also help them sustain the relationship in the loveliest way.

Abdulrazaq O Hamzat is a Human Rights Ambassador and the Executive Director of Foundation for Peace Professionals. He can be reached at discus4now@gmail.com

Comments

Post a Comment

Popular posts from this blog

5 facts about O TO GE slogan and the collapse of Saraki's dynasty

-
Image
Kwara Must Change 1. Alh. LAK Jimoh was the first politician in modern history of Kwara state to use the O TO GE slogan in a campaign. O TO GE simply means, Enough is Enough.  Alhaji Jimoh first used the slogan in 2011 when he was contesting the Kwara Central Senatorial seat under the People's Democratic Party (PDP). Bukola Saraki eventually won the ticket and went ahead to represent Kwara Central at the Senate.  While the slogan wasn't popular at the time, there's no taking away the fact that Alh LAK Jimoh used it first and could be rightly credited to be the originator. 2. 8 years later, the slogan idea was pitched again in 2018 immediately after the All Progressive Congress primary election in Kwara State. After the APC primary election, Islamic singer, Aminat Obirere produced a song titled o to ge as part of a joint album coordinated by Kwara Must Change to promote the candidature of APC governorship candidate, Alh. Abdulrahman Abdulrazaq. The album itself was titled
Read more

Brave lady quites her job because her boss persistently calls her sweetie

-
Image
A lady, who goes by the name Sarah Mcgovern on social network site Facebook, has quite her job over what she described as harassment and persistently being refereed to as sweetie by her boss. Sarah took to Facebook on December 7th 2017 to narrate her experience. She wrote: I don't post many deeply personal things online, but I want to share this. I quit my job about a month ago because of harassment. Below is my letter of resignation. I think it's important to share this truth, and to know that many of us will not tolerate the abuse. We can and should walk out. #metoo "Hi Elias, This is my letter of resignation, effective today, October 31, 2017, my last partial day of employment. Since the second day of my employment, on October 12, 2017, I have asked you not to call me "Sweetie." I have asked you not to call me Sweetie more than 5 times since then, and you have still not respected this request. I nearly walked out because of this last Tuesday, Oc
Read more

CONSTITUENCY PROJECTS AND NATIONAL DEVELOPMENT PROCESS: THREAT OR OPPORTUNITY? BY JAYE GASKIA

-
Image
Fourteen years after the practice and phenomenon of Constituency projects began to evolve in the legislative practice and appropriation process of the 4th Republic, the phenomenon has grown to become pervasive across the Federation with both Federal and state legislatures now fully embracing the practice. Yet, nearly a decade and half on, there is still no clarity regarding the practice, with respect to any form of agreed framework guiding its implementation. There is, as of the moment of writing this piece in 2018, no policy, legislative nor institutional framework underlying and providing not only pragmatic, but also scientific criteria and parameter for determining the why, how, and where of constituency projects. And even though there are currently draft bills being considered by both chambers of the National Assembly [NASS] aimed at providing a regulatory framework for the practice, the bills have nevertheless remained stuck within the opaque labyrinth of the legislative proce
Read more

2019 Election: FPP condemn reckless remarks by political parties and foreign interests

-
........ call on Nigerians to trust INEC An independent Non Governmental Organisation, Foundation for Peace Professionals (FPP) has called on the Nigerian people to have faith in their country & give chance to Government Institutions like Independent National Electoral Commission (INEC), being the Nigerian electoral body to finish up what its started. The elections cannot be concluded if announcement of Presidential election results cannot be made. The organisation frowned at reckless statements coming from political parties, organisations and foreign  individuals aimed at heating up the polity just to pitch Nigerians against each other. In a statement issued by the Executive Director, Abdulrazaq Hamzat, FPP stated that after the successful conduct of the 2019 general election, the two leading political parties in Nigeria have been raising false alarms without basis. According to Hamzat, "the baseless and unsubstantiated alarms being raised by the ruling All Progress
Read more

IBB had no respect for sycophants - Col. Abubakar Dangiwa (Part 2)

-
Image
The Col. Abubakar Dangiwa Umar story (part two) "My relationship with General Babangida" “I had on several occasions in the past explained why I enjoy a very close relationship with IBB. IBB was my instructor at the Nigerian Defence Academy. Since then, I found him to be a very brilliant and inspiring officer. In fact, he had great influence on my career choice of the armoured corps, being an amour officer himself. Of course, we had disagreements, some of them quite straining, but they have not succeeded m changing my perception of him. This is true with most officers who worked closely with the man. With all this, I had never allowed such a close personal relationship to becloud my vision and judgment of his performance as a superior officer, particularly during his eight‑year rule as President and C‑in‑C. Mr. Edwin Madunagu, a man I have high regards for as an accomplished intellectual and a socially concerned person, confirmed what I have always suspected that most ou
Read more

Kwara Must Change unveil list of Offa robbery victims, urges govt to immortalize them

-
Image
Victim Kwara Must Change has compiled at least, 14 names of victims murdered in the deadly armed robbery attack that took place in Offa Community, Offa Local Government Area of Kwara State. The names gathered so far include 10 police officers and 4 civilians. However, we shall continue to update the list as we gather more details. It would be recalled that on 5th April 2018, a deadly armed robbery attack took place in Offa Local government Area of Kwara State, in which several innocent lives were lost. While several figures were claimed by police and several media houses, Vigilance Group of Nigeria in Offa said vigilantes in the state counted about 50 dead bodies after armed robbers attacked and robbed five banks. It was on this basis that Kwara Must Change has set out to preserve the memory of the victims, through compiling and documenting their names, not only to ascertain the figure, but to also immortalize them. We believe that only by documenting the names of the victims, wi
Read more

What Drake has in common with Davido

-
Image
If you have been following the American hip hop scene lately, you must have heard about the beef between Drake and Pusha T, the President of kanye West Good Music. On Friday, Pusha T dropped Daytona, a 21-minute album currently making wave in America. Closing out the album’s seven-track run was “Infrared,” a lyrical track addressing the dubious artistry of Drake, a longtime thorn in Push’s side. On the infrared track, Pusha T slammed Drake once again for using ghost writer and many others. In the usual Drake manner, the God’s Plan hit maker fired back with a track titled “Duppy Freestyle”—released less than 24 hours after Pusha T’s album dropped, where he dispensed the grievances about his history with ghostwriting. Drake went further to drag Kanye West into the rap battle, saying he had once assisted Kanye on a track, a collaboration well aknowleded by Mr. West. In the Drake’s response, he also dragged the name of Pusha T’s wife into the battle and all hell let loose.
Read more